I am tired. Jacob came down with a cold? stomach virus? and after three episodes of vomiting we were forced to take him to Tampa General for labs and IV fluids. By now we know to ask for the vascular access team, so the blood draw was no more upsetting to him than having his temperature taken (which, to be fair, upsets him quite a bit). Happily ammonia was 37 and we needed to stay only a few hours to get him rehydrated. Of course the little bugger took two bottles like a champ without vomiting in the hospital, and vomited the entire contents of the bottle we offered him when we got home. I was scared that he would get worse in the night, so I slept on the floor in his nursery so I would hear every toss and turn.
Today he is better. And I am tired. Of all of it.
I just want to cuddle my baby when he’s sick, not take him to the hospital to force fluids in him.
Because if you think I’m tough, I’ve been fooling you. Jacob is tougher than I am. This is him at the hospital yesterday (less than an hour after vomiting up an entire bottle on his dad, the rocking chair, and the nursery floor).
Look at that smile. Like nothing is wrong in the world. Thank God for that smile. Thank God for my husband, who is strong when I’m not. Thank God for Jacob’s grandparents, who rushed over the moment we called to pack up my half-prepared lunch and hold Jacob while we cleaned up the nursery and packed for the hospital. Thank God for Jacob’s grandparents who live miles away and offered prayers and support from afar. And thank God for God, who has had His hand on Jacob from the beginning. The only reason I’m standing right now is because I’m leaning on Him.